I am feeling very grateful tonight and I just want to share it! I got away from my work to a noon step speaker meeting that I like today. Someone I had never met before was starting the steps and it was great as he shared his experience, strength and hope with the first step and the principle of honesty. My sponsor's sponsor sat with me at one table while his sponsor sat a couple of tables away and we had a great hour together. The laughter and fellowship before and after the meeting just lifted me and energized me for an afternoon of work.
This evening I went to a Catholics in Recovery Mass, Meal & Meeting at a local parish. It's a regular once a month event that I get a lot out of. Although it's not an AA meeting and it's open to anyone in any recovery program most of us are either in AA or Al Anon. We start with the Mass, celebrated by a priest who also is in recovery, followed by a meal prepared by one of our fellows and volunteers providing salads and desserts. We then follow a pretty recognizable meeting format, with the focus on our recovery especially as it relates to our spiritual journey as Catholics.
Anyway, I got home and I just feel great and grateful. I'm grateful to the program of AA which has helped me renew and strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power. I'm grateful for my sponsor and friends who hold me accountable for what I do inside and outside of the rooms. I'm grateful to God as I understand Him.
When I came back into the rooms 16 months ago I didn't see what was so damn funny that had all of you people laughing and smiling. Today I see. All it took was willingness. Willingness to surrender in the 1st Step and start being honest, especially with myself. Willingness to believe that the Higher Power I had professed really is there and loves me. Willingness to surrender my will and my life to my Higher Power, God as I understand Him, in the 3rd step. And the willingness to buckle down and do the work required in the rest of the steps.
I am grateful that I often hear my High Power speaking to me. Not in ethereal tones from the heavens, but in the voices of my brothers and sisters in the fellowship of AA and of my faith. (I think the last time I heard a "voice from above" it was from a loudspeaker!)
I said at a meeting the other night that I always want to remember the despair and hopelessness I felt coming in. I also don't want to forget or lose the gratitude I feel tonight. I just have to stay willing, open and honest.
Until next time...
